Lately I have been attending many race-based workshops and discussion groups. Many of these are white groups to work on our own issues before burdening our Black bothers and sisters with our "struggle." Sometimes it feels so disingenuous that it is painful. There seems to be a fair amount of competition in some of these groups to be seen as the least racist. I think it is part of the competitive nature of Americans that is at the heart of so many of our issues - racism among them. We always have to be the best - either the best racist or the best anti-racist. It is very hard for Americans to just be and accept that this is not yet another competition. And it is so easy to fall into this because it is so deeply molded into our being to be the best at everything. White Americans love to win - and the chance to be the most "woke" white person becomes a priority. It takes us much longer to get to a point where we realize that we will never be the expert in being Black in America.
Thanks, Michele, for this thought-provoking post. I hadn't thought of the word competition. But in discussions similar to what you describe, I have been struck by how there is a "right" way to express a desire to be an ally and that is with tearful "confessions."