I really appreciated the TedTalk by Tom Rietz. The foster care system in particular is one aspect of society that needs real, immediate anti-racist work at its forefront, and I appreciated his perspective. But his view of "if I tell you my story and you tell me yours, we'll be able to see more eye-to-eye" struck me as difficult. Not every person has a story that gives examples of why we see racism as an issue and why we are vocal about it. And I am not entitled to tell other people's stories. I just believe human beings should have equal rights, and I don't believe that because I've witnessed or experienced hardship first hand, but out of my loving nature.
So how do I approach someone who has hate deeply ingrained in their belief system? What if that person doesn't have a sob story and they are just genuinely an asshole? (a certain cousin comes to mind) How do we ask to have a respectful conversation with a racist who legitimately doesn't care that they are racist, who state it proudly?