This was one that I have had to really reflect on, and have done so more recently in the past month. This section really reinforced this. As someone who has been working on the concept(s) of racism since the late 90s, has a masters degree in social work, is a licensed social worker with a code of ethics, as well as an educator - for years I took for granted that my educational experiences was enough - I wasn't racist. I didn't need to work on this, because I already knew that I wasn't racist. I always viewed myself as an ally and at the same time was just not doing enough on-going work.
Reframing this as becoming antiracist, understanding the level of ongoing commitment as well as the ongoing internal reflection, is empowering & liberating and intensely intimidating. Having to acknowledge that I know so much and at the same time I have so far to go is humbling and an ego check.
When I first started this work, I did so because prior I certainly embraced white exceptionalism, and didn't think I was part of the problem. I didn't see the privilege I had and in doing so it clouded how I saw myself.
I have never been driven by anything other than trying to be someone who is not clouded by my misunderstanding of something. Prior to college I had no idea the privilege I held. I grew up low middle class, and had rough times growing up, but my skin color never had anything to do with it. When I came to college I was alerted of a different world. and that my experiences with how I interacted with the world were very different than those of friends that I had made who were black and of other races. It opened my eyes to a world I had never known of. I could live my life doing that because of the privilege, but when confronted with it, I had to start doing the work. I am doing this training because I have a long way to go and know forums and conversations like these strengthen my ability to be truly anti-racist.