White privilege was explained to me in an academic setting and in that setting I went through the reflection process noting the times when the world responded to me in a way that acknowledged my whiteness, but I couldn't really identify any startling examples of privilege until the parent of one of my student's called me for help. He asked if I could drive him and my student to the store so they could order new glasses. While I was happy to provide a ride, I was shocked by his explanation for the request. The father was concerned that he would be treated rudely or worse and that he wouldn't be able to get his son the glasses he needed. He said he knew that if I went with him, the technicians would treat me well because I was white. Of course the trip went well, just as the father predicted, but I was surprised by how the experience impacted me. I wouldn't have never guessed that I would lend someone my white privilege, but I felt some pride in the fact that the man had asked me and that he felt safe in asking me.
I continue to teach Native students and work at my relationships with their families. I'd like to think I use my privilege to advocate for them but I know that I need to gain more skills so that my voice is heard by other whites, especially the decision-makers. My emotions are not always my friend.
In my earlier years, (late 80's ) I was a Special Ed Aide for pre-school. I had befriended a family whose son I worked with. The young man had to have several surgeries to try and straighten his feet. His mom did not drive so I offered to take them to the hospital, 100 miles out of town. The doctors and nurses were so nice and kind to the child. He always tried to "be strong." He seldom cried around the staff, but did when it was just Mom and I. I asked Mom if we should see if he could have pain medication. She told me they don't give it after his surgeries. I was surprised as my own son was ran over three years before this and the staff never hesitated to medicate as needed. I asked the doctor what the difference was. I couldn't believe an educated man gave this answer! He stated that "Native children don't feel pain like white children do." I was stunned! I may not be a doctor, but I am a mother and have worked with many children of many different cultures. Everyone of these children bled the same color when they skinned a knee! They all wanted a band aid and a hug. Pain is pain no matter your income or culture. I'm not sure if the doctor responded due to my being white or because he saw I wasn't backing down. But, my little friend got his pain meds. Either way it was an issue of White Privilege. His mother had always been afraid to speak up out of fear as to how they might treat or refuse to treat her son in the future.
My white privilege has become even more visible to me over the past two weeks - as when I feel overwhelmed by the media, etc. - I can just turn it off and take a break. I so very much aware now how that is not the case for POC.
My white privilege permeates about every area of my life.
Bravo that you have built such trust with your families and students. That takes time and consistency.
It is truly eye-opening when someone asks you to be a "human shield" in that way -- to deflect discrimination. I think that it is a defining moment for people doing this work. You can just be present and extert your influence through your status on the racist or potentially racist situation and sometimes change the whole dynamic. I have come to think of my various priviliged statuses as type of cloaks that I swirl on around me and use in various situations. The privilige of being a licensed social worker, the privilege of having a PhD and being a "doctor," the privilege of being white, the privilege of being of a fierce, confident, personality. I have used these to prevent the initmidation and abuse of colleagues, students, and clients over the years. To some degree, this is part of what advocay entails, but the even sweeter part of advocacy is when your client, student, colleague gets to the place where they can stand up for themselves. When they learn the confidence and skills to negotiate these situations, and can be advocates for others in turn as they go through the steps of learning self-advocacy.
Remember this is a journey. Be kind to yourself, but demand an honest effort from yourself at the same time. You've got this one step at a time. ~ Brenda