I have definitely experienced white exceptionalism, particularly since being taught growing up that racism is merely overt acts of words or violence that are hateful to BIPOC. My identity was formed as a "good [white] girl" and I always aimed to be kind to those who are different from me, but I will confess I did not interact with them very often due to larger forms of systemic racism that influence housing, school, and wealth/means for extracurricular activities. And over the last few years as I started to understand that racism is so much more than this, I continued to feel somewhat that I was exempt from being very racist, and I had not even heard of "anti-racism work."
But as I have grown to understand that I was not aware of my whiteness (values and culture) and how privileged I am, and how I continued to silently and comfortably benefit from a system designed to oppress all non-white people, especially Black people, I was struck with intense guilt and shame. I believe felt this especially strongly because I am a highly sensitive person and empath, and I feel all feelings very strongly. It felt so wrong to me to be financially well-off and to not worry about my safety or respectability or trustworthiness in the world, but I didn't know what to do about it. Google searches didn't lead me to any anti-racism work and the circles I ran in were not aware of or talking about these issues. I can relate to the reactionary words and actions in response to white guilt and shame to try to prove myself as one of the "good ones" and in order to rid myself of these feelings. I now understand that guilt and shame are normal responses to realizing you have done harm or something wrong, but to remain stuck in them or to act out of them is not helpful and continues to do harm.
