By completing this training, I do feel as though I'm more prepared to engage in conversations about race. The PDF handouts are great tools to utilize when having a conversation. I am especially fond of the "how to" address racism in elected officials document. It's not what we say, but HOW we say it that can help make a significant impact. I have enjoyed these thought provoking Ted Talks in this module. We cannot remain silent, and connecting through our lives experiences will help people to understand. We are people talking to people, so the more personal we make our conversations, the more relatable they will be. Well done on this module!
I would agree with you, Ashley. I feel better prepared, more comfortable being uncomfortable so that I don't have to remain silent for fear of "saying something wrong". Better to speak the truth even if your voice shakes.
I agree- (my voice totally shakes when I am nervous too!) I feel more prepared and I think what really stuck out to me is the idea that it isn't a binary. As said in the video, it's not like getting your tonsils taken out- "Now I don't have racism!" It is an every growing and changing awareness. I also like the idea of listening to and telling stories to learn more about WHY things are the way they are with others. I have been using the term "planting seeds" in talking with my father in this way. I realized that on the ally continuum I have gone back and forth for years between different steps- mainly aware and active. I also know that I recently made a mistake at a volunteering event and felt so uncomfortable- and did my best to recognize it and apologize. We are all a work in progress.
I certainly feel intrigued as to how a conversation on race might play out in person and I can imagine listening to someone's story there. I'm not clear what I would tell them about my own life, that's something to mull over - or perhaps something that would make sense in the moment.
I'm unsure how it applies to online conversations. Whilst there are plenty of trolls and disingenuous arguments online, people do need to be called out, and I feel it's important to take a stand against a troll for the third party reader, especially as they might be a person of colour and I want them to see someone challenge problematic posts or comments. At the same time, it's not the place to listen endlessly to someone's story, especially when they're often not willing or able to feel a connection to have any desire to get vulnerable and real. So, I'm wondering the most useful ways to call people out or up online, other than to try and say something genuine and with love, and not just trash them, as the aim is to bring people with us.
I found the TED talk about combining personal stories infuriating. He didn't tell us what he meant by combining stories/putting stories together. Did he just mean tell each other our stories? He also repeated himself so much and left such long gaps in his speech that I ended up watching it on 1.75% speed! Then he finally said we have to figure out how to reach people, but didn't say how and just ended there. I assume he means that sharing our personal stories is how, but it just felt unclear to me and I feel like he could have told his story in half the time and it would have been more impactful for me personally.
I'm also frustrated by spelling and layout mistakes throughout the PDF resources and have offered to help if the course leaders need a proof reader to look at some of their stuff, because it's extremely distracting and confusing when the wrong word is used, when it looks like a document hasn't been finished, when two of the documents are almost identical. I'd be happy to help.
Doing this training and facing current world events has made me feel a lot more distant from most of my family who are not actively engaging in their education or in any anti-racist activities. The same goes for certain friends and acquaintances, but with my family I feel it the strongest. I feel how strong my desire is to work for a better world and to work on myself in that endeavour, and how some of my family don't seem to share that interest.
I can see where my sister as a mental health worker is doing her work, and my father as a political activist is doing his work, and my brother is always paying attention and looking at what's useful, and I feel connected to them in their passion and loving effort to support everyone on the planet. I feel like that's what I want to do - I see the planet as one connected population, one sprawling dysfunctional but also incredible family full of amazing people who need love and support and all of whom deserve their human rights and deserve to thrive.
I understand people feeling that there's nothing they can do. I have often felt that way myself. I just can't help feeling really frustrated that some of my family is only interested in itself. I just don't really understand how you can feel loving joy when shunning most of the world - and that's on me. It's where I am right now, feeling emotionally altered, moved, hurting, and not able to presently feel particularly Zen about everything.
I am sort of expecting that over time something will settle into place, I will calm down and have more compassion for those ignorant self-serving people in my family again. I suppose I will remember that I was that way once, and that they're not all bad and they're basically good and just don't understand that the world is going to shit because of people like them not engaging with it and just running with their privilege.
Until I find that place of relative peace and acceptance, I plan to focus on my own education and my own life. It seems like I won't be in a useful place to speak to family members in any way that they will hear me until I can get grounded and alchemise some of this frustration. If I do speak to them, I plan to focus on what I am doing and feeling and thinking, and not on what they 'should' do/be/say. Family is a great place to get triggered!