I have felt all white guilt and shame. I have also felt white exceptionalism a little bit, but I never felt that there was nothing more I need to do. I feel like I want to help, but I don’t want people to think that I am doing it to make myself feel better. I want to do it to help others. I have felt guilt and shame for not sticking up for people of color or doing anything. I also have shame for the way I have felt towards some individuals. I hope to use the tools from this training to grow and be a better ally.
I am working on becoming a better ally. I think I am on the aware/active stage on the continuum. I am trying to be more informed, and research, etc. I am constantly learning and self-reflecting. Talking about it more is something I am working on now. Especially while being around individuals who say racist comments. Normally I would just keep my mouth shut and silently disagree, but I am learning that by doing that I am just allowing the racism to continue. I would like to become stronger in speaking up, especially when I need to speak up to older family members.
