1) What are your thoughts about white exceptionalism, guilt, and shame? Have you felt that way? Have you been driven by toxic white guilt?
In the video there is a woman I related to that said, "I grew up lower-middle class and worked hard for everything that I have. So the concept of white privilege was foreign concept to me." This hit hard. I have talked about this unawareness in several of my other posts. I do think that because I didn't repeat or participate in conversation about racism I did flex my white exceptionalism. I didn't take a stand. I just was a bystander. Through this learning experience I would say that I have experienced some white shame because of the things I have learned about the treatment of people of color. I don't watch the news very often because everything that they talk about is negative and reminds me how much the world is broken. Racism is another thing in our world and especially in our country that is a broken system. I have no idea how we correct hundred's of years of this ideology but I do think that trying to erase the past is not the way to do it. I don't think I have ever been driven by toxic white guilt through the lens racism. Although, I did relate to the example used by the moderator of the curriculum. It is almost that I have to prove that I am a good employee when we have done something that we shouldn't have.
2) Where do you think you are on the ally continuum? If you are a person of color, you can still become an ant-racist ally to other racially marginalized group. Do you think you already demonstrate allyship?
Before starting this learning I would have said that I was between apathetic and aware. Now after doing some work to understand the issues, terms, and the history I am moving toward active. This is all new things for me and I know that I can't just become an advocate overnight without some further understanding, conversation, and research of my own.
3) Are you starting to feel more prepared and confident to engage in conversations about race? What do you think about some of the PDF handouts? What thoughts did you have while watching the videos focusing on how to engage others?
I am starting to feel more prepared and confident to engage in conversations about Race. I very much have enjoyed the PDF handouts and think that they will come in handy when I return to work to be able to have conversations with my students about race. The thoughts I had during watching the videos include; "just because I am white doesn't mean I can't have a conversation. I may not understand what the feeling is 100% but I can empathize and work to understand from someone else's perspective."
I think that my best contribution will be to encourage conversations and listen actively. As a white male who is leader of a very diverse team I am sensitive to my style and role as team protector implicitly stifling assertion. I am learning to remain open and available by allotting time for conversations and using open ended questions to encourage conversation that I am available and listening.