Jonathan Haidt uses the analogy of the elephant and the rider to talk about how people think they think and what actually happens. In the analogy the rider is the logical part of us and the elephant is all the emotional stuff. The rider thinks he's in charge but really it's the elephant. You don't change people by through logic and presentation of data, you have to appeal to the emotional side. The last speaker, Tom Reitz, is the one who got it right, it's the stories and connections that lead to actual conversation and change, not their talking points no matter how well thought out. That's where I think some of this training got a little off the rails. Sure, you can tell white people that being told they're racist doesn't mean they're a bad person and that the definition of racist that they grew up with has changed but the reality is that for most progressive white people being called a racist or being told that they did/said something racist is the equivalent of being called a child molester. The adrenaline pours in and the ability to hear or think plummets. That's not the basis for the conversations you want to have. Yes, you can try to overcome those automatic reactions but when it comes to stimulus/response most of us are going to fail a lot of the time. Of course, nothing else really has worked to effect the necessary change so it's not like I have any answers. Bottom line is that I think Walt Disney was right, that when you want to educate adults you need to entertain them--he knew that you had to talk to the elephant.
Maybe white people need to be told that they are being racist so that they have the motivation to work on the changes that need to be made. Yes, that initial gut reaction might be difficult to swallow, but it also is an eye opening opportunity for the individual to engage in self-reflection and growth. It is also an opportunity to educate ourselves on situations that we saw as "normal," but when perceived from the other side they were hurtful. We need these opportunities to arise so that the necessary changes can be made.