Other posts in this forum have mentioned that folks are not sure how to activate in their antiracism, and I hear that! My own personal development has gotten me to a point where I am pretty aware of my white fragility, guilt & exceptionalism.I'm mindful enough to mostly catch these things before they bust out into actions that might cause harm. The toxic piece is a concept I appreciate- I've seen it in action and it has stopped me from asking questions or being able to truly reflect. I am currently struggling through how to call in family members expressing things like all lives matter, I don't see color, etc. Still getting there!
Reflecting on the ally continuum, I would say I am right between active & advocate. And I think that is where I've been for way too long. I really appreciated the TED speaker's use of the Power & Control wheel- as a DV advocate for nearly 20 years, it's familiar to me and I think it's a good tool to illustrate what she was saying. It can help people see that the individual acts are held in place & supported by larger societal norms. As an ally- well, the more I learn about ally is that it is not for me to decide if I am one. But I do try to be mindful in my communication, point out representation issues, support student orgs that represent BIPOC (showing up to their events, spending money at their fundraisers).
The power of story & connection...so important! And the point about thinking that the person who says what you're thinking but don't dare say isn't fearless...that was such a great point. Jay Smooth's youtube clip on how to tell someone they sound racist is great and I think I need to re-watch it. And I very much appreciated the talk on explaining white privilege after growing up in poverty- that's the big stumbling block I've seen with people- that they take white privilege as denying that they have had struggles or deal with forms of bias. The area I am from has a good amount of white people who are poor, don't own homes or land and do feel that sense of alienation/disconnection.
I also really appreciated the piece on tone policing. I definitely catch myself internally- an example I think of since I recently put it in context for myself is when colleagues & students who are BIPOC share their discomfort being around our local police. I'm in my head thinking, no...there's no way, that officer is super easy to talk to, are you sure that 's how it made you feel? These many small realizations have been adding up more and more over the past couple of years and especially in the last few months.