power and controll wheels. find patterns of abuse in intimate relationship: physical, emotional and sexual.
Where do you think you are on the ally continuum? Most certainly I am an ally of those who are minorities, including blacks. However, I do believe that black lives matter should be more than specific to blacks and include other minorities as there are those in the LGBTQ community who are discriminated against as well as those of hispanic/asian culture. I love the symbol of what BLM means and how it can attribute to other minorities, but I also feel that a new organization that encompasses all forms of discrimination against the lesser should be formed. I am sure that there are many organizations out there that do this currently, and yes it is great to have specific groups related to those specific cultures, but I also think we should unite together on these issues.
Although BLM specifically addresses the police brutality, inequalities and discrimination that continues to plague America, I feel that similar organizations can share universal concepts through education, awareness and advocacy to combine efforts and hopefully make an impact change.
Do you think you already demonstrate allyship? Share with the other participants the ways in which you are already an ally, and ways that you would like to become a stronger one.
I can say with confidence that I am an ally of the BLM and ally of those who are discriminated against and I refuse to allow those continued behaviors to be part of my life, philosophy and ethics. The only way one can do this is through learning, understanding. My philosopher professor once told me in the beginning of class that there are two rules all must follow:
Seek understanding before being understood
You can agree to disagree, agreeably
These two rules have been the epitome of my career and life as I have been exposed to many different diversities across the world thanks to the military. For example, I can chose to continue being prejudiced against Muslim or Islamic folks, but I chose not to because behind their banner during war is another human being like myself and I am no better. Not all people are bad and not all are good either, but through time, forgiveness, faith and education, I can then move on and let bygones be bygones. In a universal set: I honestly don't see much difference between radical islam and radical racial groups as they say similar things, whether it is white supremacy or religious supremacy. they both hold similar viewpoint and are expressed slightly different. However, what cause them to resort to this is what needs to be addressed and advocated against, and only then can people learn to move on.
However, with moving on needs to come change, and removing things that are oppressing, discriminating and downright wrong is where I would start. For example, just recently there was an uproar at one of the federal funeral sites for soldiers as nazi's are currently buried there with a tombstone. I couldn't believe how many people supported leaving the tombstones there with the enemy. Now, as far as I am concerned, that grave site should have been saved for American heroes who died during World War two and brought back to be buried there. Why on earth should we have enemies of society honored and remembered when they did such hideous and terrible things? That tombstone could be use in a museum somewhere and not open in the public, for, in my opinion, that only allows the voice of neonazis to feel as if they can continue their bigotry. I'm glad the government decided to make changes and remove the tombstones, and that nazi are not and should not be part of American values. Perhaps I sound rather prejudiced against Nazis but if I were serving during World War 2 to find out they were buried in American gravesides for soldiers who fought them, I would be downright disturbed and angry.
I apologize for the rant, but I don't see any reason to continue waving things of the past to remind others that they still believe in these oppressing ideologies, and should be kept only within the confines of glass in a museum, never to be glorified or worshiped. the American flag is supposed to represent a nation UNITED, and not divided, unlike those who think otherwise. Hence, I am an ally of the minorities who are discriminated against, I believe they need a voice in society and through education, advocacy and learning can we move on.
I thought of Star Trek (the original series) when I read your post. The motto of the Federation was "IDIC: infinite diversity in infinite combinations.". Personally, I think it's a cool motto!
Conflicted because yes, I absolutely agree that we need to address the harm done to all the various marginalized people in America. When I lived in South Bend one winter we had four people die of exposure because they had issues that made them unwelcome at other shelters. A local group of Methodist churches put together a weather amnesty shelter so that wouldn't happen again. It bothered me because I thought it was great that my church was doing something about it but also furious that a societal problem was having to be solved by four churches with aging congregations. That said, right now the greatest need is the killing of black men. I'm not saying that we don't need to fix all the other stuff but the rate of police killing of black men is the greatest need right now. I don't hate the police but it's pretty obvious that the training needs some serious work/completely rethought. Sleeping off a binge in a parked car in a parking lot should not end up with being shot in the back. Period. And, basically, we Americans sadly really suck at caring about more than one thing at a time.
I think and frankly, hope that I am moving from active to advocate. Time will tell. Will I still be taking active anti-racist steps 3 months from now, 1 year from now, 10 years? I hope so and that's my plan. Joining organizations like SURJ will help - I have orientation with the LA chapter tomorrow. I think one of the next big things for my husband and me to think about is how we want to use our finances on a continual, long-term basis.... and not to give just a nominal amount, but an amount that we actually notice and feel. That's when the rubber starts meeting the road.
Being an ally is defined by me as for instance; when someone initiates a conversation about black lives matter, I open up my two ears and one mouth, and tell them to tell me more. I made a comment once on fb that I thought was an ally comment. I was hit with a comment back of being a racist. I immediately erased my comment and this person's comment went bye bye along with it. I realized I did not want to be called a racist and I understood that somehow I had hurt him with my comment. Now I started the journey of why, which got me to this training in the first place. Seeking to understand. I think being an ally is to be made aware, then seek to understand by listening more than talking, and then actively advocate. It does not have to be on a huge platform or in the media, as they said; trying to be the white savior. No, one conversation after another where you seek to understand by listening long enough.
Of course, I'll be an ally when helping other people, independetly of his/her race, because we need to mind and support everyone. I'm totally against 'abuse' and if I see I can't help by myself, I'd call for help. It all depends on the situation. I'm feeling good now.. aware of this proposal to change our world.