As a white woman, I'm well aware of the white privilege I grew up with and continue to have. It's certainly not fair and it breaks my heart that people of color have, not only, not had the same benefits of the doubt I've gotten, but also have so many people question their worthiness or cast suspicion on them for no reason at all. It's difficult and infuriating when I talk to other white folks who deny white privilege. They're usually the same one's who feel entitled to get what they want because this is "the land of the free" and anything that gets in their way is a threat. I want to learn how to better educate them because every time I try and they argue with me, I get overwhelmed and upset because I don't understand how they can be so blind. But I have a responsibility to basically get a grip and push through to find more effective communication tactics because people of color don't have the option to opt out of that kind of discussion if they get upset, like I do. It's their reality, so I want to continue to learn how to be uncomfortable but bold in correcting people's ignorance.
I have family members who do not believe in white privilege. All I hear about is how they had to work hard for everything they have. However, they do not understand we are born with certain privileges that we take for granted. White privilege is a social advantage.
I started out vehemently denying white privilege. I identified strongly with the struggles I had overcome, and was upset with the suggestion I had been 'given' anything, especially any kind of privilege. Aside from identifying with 'overcoming struggles' (homelessness, etc) and feeling like someone was trying to take that away, I think the main issue was a matter of language. In my somewhat limited experience, that is *usually* the case in people who aren't blatant racists but who don't accept the idea of white privilege.
Don't get stuck on the term or getting someone to agree they are 'privileged'. They probably won't be ready to do that without other discussions first. For instance, they generally will agree that until very recently pretty much 100% of dolls and children's book characters were white. Find other seemingly-innocuous examples of white privilege, and discuss the meaning and impact of those things. Acknowledging those realities is much more important than getting people to agree with a specific phrase (that automatically puts many on the defensive) during such early conversations.