I'm definitely white privledged. I have never had to think about doing anything, worry about going somewhere or afraid to walk out of my house. I just don't understand why. Why in the year 2020 we are still going through racial injustice. The person "running" our country has allowed the worst of the white population to rear it's ugly head and remind us, there is racial injustice and it's terrible. I don't align with these men and women, I can't even begin to identify with them or ever want to be like them. What bothers me, because whites really don't have a culture, the rest of the world thinks we are like this. We are like Donald Trump, and that isn't true. Now, we see there are a lot of white people who, at least are beginning to understand race and the inequality that is suffered. We need to move our country forward, never accept racial injustice and get a president that wants the same.
I am so hopeful that we will elect a new president - one who will put us on a path toward one another, rather than seek to divide us further. Now, more than ever, we need leadership that is strong and can set an optimistic tone and steer the country in a positive direction.
I could relate to some of the people who when talking about being white, were apprehensive about talking about race. They didn't want to unknowingly offend someone.
I used to say to people that I don't see color, I see a person. Perhaps to fully see a person though, we need to understand their race IS a part of who they are. We also need to understand that it is a part of their story, although it does not define them.
It was truly heart-breaking to hear so many of the stories about people feeling misunderstood or mistreated just based on the color of their skin.
I don't know where to catergorize this, but it seems to fit with being white. Upon reading the microaggressions, I was confused. On the one hand we are being told to have conversations about race, and on the other being told not to ask questions. If the Americans who look different are proud of their heritage, why should they feel like perpetual foreigners when asked bout it? Why isn't asking how to say a word in a different language showing interest in that person's culture and heritage? How can you show interest in another persons culture and ask intelligent questions if you don't know where their ancestors are from? Is it the way the questions are worded, or is it an entire subject one is not supposed to broach? In asking these questions of some people I became acquainted with, I found out that there is more than one language spoken in Mexico - not a different dialect, but another completely different and beautiful language. I also asked them if they were offended by my questions. They smiled and said they were not. Can it be that everyone is being painted by the same brush? Maybe the secret to the interaction is to ask first if they would be offended by asking the question/s. I am contiuing to learn about their beliefs, their lives in general and even their cuisine. Things I never would have known had I not asked.
I agree that it is confusing. My understanding is that asking certain questions of people who are non-white Americans could be looked upon as microaggressions - that certain questions may make people feel as though they are not truly American. As an ESL teacher, I saw myself in this video. I routinely ask my students questions about their culture and ask them to teach me words in their first language. That said, some of my students are immigrants, and not American, but have lived here most of their young lives. I ask to show interest in students' cultures, which is what I thought I was supposed to do. Now that I think about it, some students give me a blank stare and shrug. Some just don't know and act as though they don't want to answer - maybe that is a signal for me to stop asking such questions. As a light-skinned black person, I've been ask many times, "what are you?" or "Can I touch your hair?" I've never taken offense. I understand the point of the video and I suppose I would take my cues from the people with whom I'm interacting at the time.
I do think that it can be helpful to get feedback on whether a person would be offended by questions and I also think as white people, we need to be ready to do it wrong, be corrected, and learn. I think perfectionism can be part of white supremacy and we need to grow in our ability to fail and get back up and continuing working on ourselves rather than deeming the process a lose-lose situation and therefore giving up on it. I know this is an area I'm working on in myself--trying to build resiliency and shatter my white fragility. In Mercedes Peter's TED Talk, she alludes to white fragility in her story about the kids in the front row who find the term 'Indian Problem' uncomfortable and therefore the whole conversation and opportunity for learning shuts down. I know I need, and I think many white people need, to work on our ability to sit with our own discomfort in order to be able to hear the stories of BIPOC without making them about us by redirecting the conversation to our feelings of guilt and discomfort.
Also, I think that the microaggression is in the fact that we probably wouldn't ask a white person the same questions about their cultural history, so in asking about the culture of a person of color, we're pointing out that they are not the default and are other--I don't think everyone experiences it this way, because it's probably based on the context: one person may come to that conversation being told a million times before that they don't belong because of the color of their skin and the questions about their culture remind them of that, while the next person may not have that same context and therefore may not experience it that way. Either way, I think curiosity is a good thing and paired with empathy, kindness and humility, you are likely equipped to make good progress even if that good progress requires getting it wrong. (I should note that if I sound like I have this figured out, I don't and I'm talking to myself as much as anyone.)
I agree and was also a little confused by the mixed messages. I dont think there is anything wrong when someone asks me where I am from and what my heritage is. I just feel that they are curious about me. I always answer that I grew up here but originally my family is from Brasil. I dont see anything upsetting about that.
Amen to that! I agree that it is shameful that we are White and associated with the White president. It kinda puts things in perspective as to what bias is.
I have not ever thought about not having a culture. That seems weird, but I guess I identify with my ethnic background more. There is no white culture...there does not need to be, and we should be questioning ourselves about that.
I feel somewhat jealous that others have a culture to identify with. I can say that I am German, or Welsh, but these are what my ancestors were...does that mean that I am? Do I need to act as they did (or do) and what does that look like? I can say I am American, but what does that look like? There are many Americans who I aspire to be like, and there are many that I do not!
I guess I must make my own impression on the world; use my uniqueness to make it a better place!
In my still relatively uninformed opinion, being white and being willing to problem-solve means being willing to have the uncomfortable conversations and, as Jacqui said, being willing to stand corrected when we are wrong. I recently encountered a situation where I perpetuated racism not by shutting down a conversation necessarily but by arguing and not letting information that I was given sit with me, by an ex of mine (who is a white-presenting Latinx). I let personal feelings get in the way of what could have been a much more mutually respectful learning opportunity for me and I was forced to confront the fact that I did indeed perpetuate racism by not just listening. I also used some degree of racial gaslighting (which I didn't realize until I did some of my own research after the fact and had to judge based on my ex's reaction to a conversation that I thought we ended in agreement on.
Obviously, it is about balance. We do need to end white silence but we need to do it mindfully and respectfully.
I appreciate everyone contributing to these conversations! We must process these things together, in the appropriate realms. This is one of the ways in which we get better.