That is the best way I can think of to describe it. I'm struggling to understand the current ideas surrounding rioting and violence as a means of breaking the system. As a white woman, I was raised to believe all violence is bad. Even with reason, it was not to be accepted as a way to express dissatisfaction. I see the anger in so many in the current protests and police killings and question that for many reasons. I see why keeping the laws that the cops have in place is a way of maintaining the status quo and supporting POC being kept silent or deprived of resources and opportunities due to the system in place. What I struggle with is not withholding judgement, but understanding, empathizing, and supporting the effort to break outside of this system by way of violent means. What I do understand is I have probably been exposed to media, word of mouth, or portrayal of "criminal activity" with the intent (of the speaker) to put blame on POC. I am becoming more aware of this, though, as I know fully well that the KKK and other such organizations also exist and are active and present. I can also very much see the current developments of judging rioting as something that should not happen that WOULD not happen, if we would leave well enough alone. Based on the perspective I have seen of how much true reform needs to happen to actually achieve equality, I can't condemn those rioting for wanting to change things. I do, too.
It is not my intent to offend or minimize anyone else's perspective, but to question what I have learned in my raising and try to reconcile the differences in what I am seeing now, versus what I have been taught. I would love thoughts on this from others, as my brain is really trying to understand and form new beliefs.