I feel like, throughout this training, I have changed in the sense of beginning to understand myself more and how my implicit biases (especially ones I did not realize I had! Which I guess it why it's called implicit and unconscious...!) impact others. I need to continue to engage more with others (both white people and both among marginalized groups) to be able to hear, listen, understand, and mold my story with theirs, in order to ultimately work more effectively with combating racism, especially as the one Ted Talk presenter discussed. I am feeling anxious (which I realize is making me experience guilt, shame, and embarassment) with all of the information and my need for continued learning, engagement, action, and reflection. But I also feel proud to have engaged in this training, and feel increasingly encouraged to continue this action further.
I agree with Melissa there is a sense of anxiousness. For me that stems from a worry that I won't be as active as I need to be. There is so much to do, and so many battles to fight. But I think focusing on one thing at a time is the only way to go.
I would also say I do feel more prepared. Every training, every video, every conversation provides a little more knowledge. And to me there is nothing more confidence inspiring than knowledge. If I believe I know something then I am going to be far more likely to do that thing, or talk about that thing. I don't think being anti-racist is any different.
I've attended a lot of continuing ed over the last 5 years and only now am I really feeling ready to go from having knowledge to putting that knowledge to action. I think another important step is finding allies in the fight to continue to encourage me, and me in turn encourage them to keep working.